[ uh-oh ]

sooooooo...our 11 year old husky, lennon, has taken a shine to paper in the last couple of months :(

i have come home on numerous occasions to find shredded envelopes, kids drawings & greeting cards either in the house or out on the deck. when i go to cut the grass & pick up the dog poop before hand they can be in an assortment of most colors!

he even ate my birthday card & pedicure voucher from my friends.... (funnily enough he seems to chew up anything that my fabulous friend jackie gives me...)

the vet said he's angry & being spiteful, which makes sense as this happens when we are out.

but now, apparently, he's moving onto bigger things!!! last week we return home to discover this:

poor sponge bob! ~ this was bad enough... but what makes it worse ~ it's a library book & somehow i'm thinking tape isn't going to help, not even magic tape!!

then 2 days later...

another library book... well at least the title seems appropriate...

[ wellies!...]

sooooooo...i finally ordered 'rain boots' wellies for my boys, oscar 5 & flynn 3. we had been studying the internet for quite some days deciding on which style ~ believe me there are a lot to choose from! luckily the ones flynn picked out weren't available in his size because he changed his mind over the same pair... several times.

we finally decided which ones, police for oscar, firemen for flynn. i went to order them from amazon, & what... there were no size choices... how could this be! one boot fits all?

so i rang amazon & because it is an outside distributor all they could do is give me their number.

on the other distributor's website they were more expensive (of course!) ~ but the lovely company honored the lower price & when they checked, it had gone down even more! music to my ears!! to get free shipping i had to but myself a nice pair of all black converse chuck taylors, naturally ~ but it was all still a bargain!!!

everyday, at least three times, the boys would be asking me have the boots arrived yet? when will the boots be here? how many more days? have they forgotten them? can you ring & find out...

i pick the boys up from school yesterday & rush back for oscar's piano lesson. but wait.... what was on our porch, a big brown box... the boots had arrived! everyone was jumping up & down super excited, yelling to open the box. first though i had to find socks & help with those (putting on socks when you're super excited is not the easiest of tasks) (i've said it before & i'll say it again, thank goodness humans only have 2 feet!) i unwrap everything as fast as i can. oscar's came out first, tied together with that crazy elastic. next came flynn's. he's opening his box up in double speed... the first thing i notice is there's no elastic on flynn's... as i walk over to flynn i look at his boots in horror ~ they've sent 2 right feet!!! oh come on!! by now oscar is wearing his doing the welly dance shouting that these are the best boots in the world & that he LOVES them... poor flynn's face as i explain to him that there's been a mix up ~ i promise to sort it out...

doorbell rings ~ its the piano teacher

flynn & i decided to clean out our beta fish, spiderman, while oscar has his lesson. i carefully catch the fish in a small bowl, place it on the counter & proceed to clean the pebbles & vase. we'd just got everything clean when oscar comes in the kitchen crying.

he's had a falling out with his piano teacher!!! i think it was a mixture of tiredness, not wanting to practise & him hearing flynn & i having fun.

after i talk to the teacher & he talks to oscar & things seem to be better i decide to put the fish back into the nice clean vase. i look into the small bowl & just see water... i know i'm forgetful maybe i put the fish back & didn't remember... then it suddenly dawned on me..... oh no... kamikaze fish... he must have jumped out!! i start yelling to the boys to help me find him... i can't see him... i'm frantically looking everywhere... oscar has burst into tears saying he's dead... i run around to the other side of the worktop & i suddenly spot a little flipping fish on the floor... it's weird, 'spiderman' is really red in the water, but out of it he's nearly black. i try to get hold of him without damaging anything!! he seems [knock on wood] to be fine!!!

and.. i rang the company that sent the wrong boots & first of all they told me i had to send the old ones back first... but after i explain the situation & how upset flynn was they overnighted them!!

great company ~ i would definitely recommend them!!

www.shopwss.com

spiderman

[ snake!!!! ]

sooooooo... guess what! we were all at the park after school & my lovely friend, theresa, spies a [huge] snake!!! i resisted screaming a snake! a snake! but i know she's at one with nature & so i yelled catch it! catch it! no way did i expect her to actually go after it ~ but she did!! i obviously helped from a safe 8ft away... this snake traveled fast!! when she grabbed it half way down it's body the snake immediately turned around & tried to bite her! i'm squirming on one foot... seriously i would have dropped that sucker & run ~ but she quickly grabbed it round the neck!

i have to say i was amazed! & very proud!!! she'd be my first choice of being stranded in the wilderness with!!

when she let it go ~ i asked weren't you scared... she said no because she knew it wasn't venomous...

oh dear:

"Garters were long thought to be nonvenomous, but recent discoveries have revealed that they do in fact produce a mild neurotoxic venom. Garter snakes can't kill an individual with the amounts of venom they produce, which is comparatively mild, and they also they lack an effective means of delivering it. They do have enlarged teeth in the back of their mouth, but their gums are significantly larger. Whereas most venomous snakes have anterior or forward venom glands, the Duvernoy's gland of garters are posterior (to the rear) of the snake's eyes. The mild poison is spread into wounds through a chewing action. The properties of the venom are not well known, but it appears to contain 3FTx, commonly known as three-finger toxin, which is a neurotoxin commonly found in the venom of colubrids and elapids. A bite may result in mild swelling and an itching sensation. There are no known cases of serious injury and extremely few with symptoms of envenomation."

all snakes are huge!

[ raccoon! ]

sooooooo...my husband, mike, gets home from work at 9pm last night & his opening line was ~ there's an injured raccoon in our driveway. i made him repeat it about 7 times because for some reason it wasn't registering! a what...?

ok! so the only thing i know about raccoons is that a lot of them have rabies. i really didn’t know what to do... i quickly tried looking up numbers on the internet but didn’t get anywhere. then i remembered my neighbor across the street has the number for animal control... i told mike i was going to get it & i’d be right back. as i was closing our front door mike said don’t stay there chit chatting!! ok ok !

i knock on the door & kris comes out, i tell her we have an injured raccoon in our driveway... she says are you sure it’s not rabid.  no i insisted... it’s a raccoon! (i thought she’s said a rabbit!!) hahahahaha

ok.... so rabid isn’t a word i’m familiar with!! i know the word rabies!! just for the record i’m british & we are rabies free... i did think it was a little odd when she said that... i mean i’m no wildlife expert but i can certainly tell the difference between a rabbit & a raccoon!!

so she gave me the number to the police because animal control would be closed now. then she showed me her new puppy ~ which is GORGEOUS! & we were chatting... out of the corner of my eye i see mike getting something out of his car... then the words 'don't stay there chit chatting' came in my head!! bye kris gotta go!

i ran back & called the cops! a message came on & if it was an emergency i had to press 0... there were no other choices to talk to anyone so i hit 0! a buff police lady answered... after apologizing profusely as this wasn’t a real emergency & explaining the situation... her response was this: the only thing we can do is send someone out to shoot it. then there was a silence, because that was her answer & my chin was sitting on top of my shoe!! i think i actually said... are you serious!!?

i mean really!! is that IT!! not coming from a country that has this whole issue with guns, i’m pretty sure the english bobbies * (that's english speak for police) don't even carry them...

it all sounded very drastic & totally wild west to me! i said 'er... is that your only solution...?' a quick firm 'YES' came back at me. i said 'well let me think about it...' she replied 'call us back if you change your mind....'

i then call the local vets & got hold of the one on call... explained the situation & he told me firmly not to touch it & call the police. but they want to shoot it i whined... he says that's what should happen & that it’s illegal in NJ to treat an injured raccoon.

THIS IS NUTS!!!! don’t vets take the hippocratic oath or something to save any animal's life? remind me not to come back in my next life as a raccoon in NJ!!! (actually i’ve already put dibs on being a koala! they sit around in trees all day, drunk on munching eucalyptus, sleep up to 18 hours & have hardly any predators!)

thing is i’m now super scared of the rabbit, i mean rabies issue... i definitely don’t want mike or myself to handle it... & definitely don’t want any of my pets, or any one else's for that matter to go anywhere near it, god forbid...

mike kept going to look at it & told me to go see.. i said no way... firstly i can just see me taking a peek at this thing, it launching itself for my neck & we’d have a frenzied fight.... secondly if i went to see it i would get attached to this striped ‘vermin’! & would be lobbying for their rights worldwide.

it wasn't doing very well at all ~ panting badly...

after a long discussion we decided the kindest & safest thing to do would be to have it put out of it's misery...

i called back the police, it took 3 calls i kept hanging up before it rang... i felt awful & got an instant 'uncomfortable' rash on my neck... i really really wished there was another option.

the buff lady answered & i said 'ok we've changed our minds, please can you come out & shoot it...'

a police officer turns up, i was a big chicken & sent mike out, paced around the house & fed my boys chocolate!

mike came back in ~ but there was no bang....thankfully it didn't happen because the raccoon was right up against the house.

in the morning it had gone... we looked around but nothing.

later on animal control rang me to see if it was still there... apparently... contacting them should have been an option from the police & if anything like this happens again i should insist on it.

animal control would pick up the animal & take it to the wildlife center.

i also called the wildlife center, who confirmed this & enlightened me that it is only illegal to treat a raccoon in NJ if you don't have a license... vets will only treat domestic animals.

wow... i'm so sorry raccoon... i should have fought for you harder, thank goodness you stayed right up against the house & then had the strength to get up & go!!

so lesson learned... this might be america.. but there is no need to shoot anything!

oscar said are they going to shoot it with raccoon medicine ~ BRILLIANT IDEA!!!

personally i think that the second amendment to the united states constitution that protects a 'right to bear arms' is a typo... it's meant to say a 'right to bare arms' ... someone wanted to introduce sleeveless shirts & jackets for warmer weather, instead of those frilly cuffs... that's all!



*the london police force was created in 1829 by an act introduced in parliament by the home secretary, sir robert peel (hence the nicknames “bobbies” and “peelers” for policemen).

[ squeeeeek ]

sooooooo... we brought a stove that we had stored in garage upstairs & there was a mouse in it!

it shot behind the fridge stayed there for a while & then made a bee line for the hole in the wall by the radiator.




one of the reasons we got a cat was because i read that the mice smell the cat & leave... mmmmmmmmm that works NOT!! we live in an old house with lots of holes in & out of places so we do get a mouse or two from time to time. i set humane traps, put them in a cage & then drive them a few miles away & drop them off in an allotment (so they'll have food!). i can't help it, i'm an animal lover & can't bear the thought of killing them. luckily my husband just lets me do all this crazy stuff & helps me too.

the other day james brown (our siamese) was in mouse mode & was sitting waiting for one to come out from behind a trunk. i couldn't take it... so my son oscar & i threw a towel over the it, i scooped it up & we ran outside to let it free. when i opened up the towel the mouse had magically disappeared!! which meant i hadn't caught it in the first place!

so the mouse that had been living in the stove found it's way into the bath, i thought i'd try out my towel trick again! as i covered him up, really fast, he let out a little scream! i scooped him up with both hands held him firm but not too tight & then found myself in the most ridiculous position! my husband was in the garage & couldn't hear me, i was stuck in the house with all the doors shut unable to use either of my hands because they were holding the mouse in the towel with a rescue team consisting of a 2 & 4 year old. i tried flynn, the 2 year old first ~ i urged him to open the door, he gripped hold of the handle trying really hard to turn it... that was going no where fast, so i called for back up, oscar, who after about 10 goes & me being his cheerleader because he wanted to give up, opened it!! yeahhhhh! we all dash outside i open the towel... the little mouse looked at us & then tried to bury further in the towel... arhhhhhhhhhh!

i look at mike... he looks at me... then says you want to keep it don't you!? well it is cold outside... YES!! so he puts the cage together & i pop him in (the mouse that is!!) i've named him gordon ramsey, he loves cookers after all!!!