[ torch! ]

sooooooo... i'm british & lived in the states for dare i say it 10 years on the 24th of this month! wow! that's a kind of major-ish anniversary! i just looked up the traditional anniversary gift present & it's tin or aluminum!! lovely! mmmmm looking forward to my 10th wedding anniversary present then!!

anyway...there are lots of funny differences in the language ~ for example in the uk we say trousers, in the states we say pants. pants in the uk is underwear.

i thought i'd come across most of these but i was recently surprised!

we had a few major things done to our house... like a new water mains... which cracked & also got a new tankless water heater when our old boiler broke... these things require permits & once installed someone from the township has to come to inspect he work.

this happened & i led the inspector guy into the basement... the light was on but the area he needed to look at was in a dark corner. he asked is there another light? i looked around because we did have something rigged up at one point. he saw a light switch & said don't worry i've found it & he flicked it. i replied you'll be lucky!! that would be far too easy!!

i saw a flashlight,  grabbed it & said to him would you like a torch? (which is what we call them in the uk)

he had his back to me & said in a kind of 'i don't think so voice' errrr no that's fine & as he said that he turned round where i was standing holding a flashlight.

i was thinking suit yourself, stay in the dark!

then he must have realized the whole 'language barrier' thing! & explained it to me (to be honest i was very confused!!) did he honestly think i was going to get a piece of wood, set light to one end of it to light my basement!! how medieval!!

[ SMARTIES!! ~ who did this to you?!! ]

soooooooooo... i was in wegmans (come on!), my box of tea had just run out & being a brit i really fancied good old pg tips (it's the taste!!!) this blog is going to be wasted on non uk-ees.

anyway i was pushing the boys around the 'international' section, scouring the shelves for those triangular bags when to my delight i noticed that there was a brand new section of yummy english chocolate bars... mmmmmm aero!! chunky kit kats & brilliant! my beloved SMARTIES!!! BUT HOLD ON A MINUTE!! what the hell happened!! i picked up the package & let out a gasp!! seriously!! oscar asked me what was wrong & i tried to explain to him but he just didn't get it as his response was 'oh well'! the 'tube' is hexagonal! & where is that fantastic pop lid with the letter inside!! i could not believe my eyes!! i LOVED those lids... i used to collect them, stick them into blu tack & push them down on my arm to try to leave an imprint. i'd often say before i opened them 'if the letter is 'a' or whatever i'd pass my test, or get my favorite tea or that boy will fancy me!! when i finished eating the smarties i'd fire the lid off top by stamping on the tube.

it was bad enough when they changed the background colour of the tube & i think they changed the font on the inside of the lids slightly. (nerd alert!!)

as soon as i got home i got on the internet hoping that this was some crazy foreign packaging & my beautiful smarties would at least be safe in their own country... but no, very very sadly it's true. i don't understand why... the worst part is i think this happened in 2005 & i've only just found out!! what else has happened? don't tell me... no more jaffa cakes or marmite!

i feel like they've killed one of my childhood memories & left this 6 sided impostor hoping that we'll love it all the same! or did they think we wouldn't notice??

i feel like someone shot johnny ball... or burnt down tony hart's gallery (by the way i sent in loads of pictures & none of them got shown) or massacred the wombles!!

NO NO NO NO NO!!! i feel confused & sad! i wonder if they taste the same!

[ nonsense! ]

soooooooo... i'm english, in my thirties & have lived in the states for around 8 years now. needless to say i come across things that aren't what i'm used to. here is one that i really can't get my head around!!

i'm in my favorite grocery store... wegmans, with my boys! it's very early in the morning and there must be a total of 10 customers in there...bliss! i bought some 'veggie chips' in trader joe's, my guys LOVED them & i could pretend that they were indeed eating some kind of vegetable!! i'm not going to burst my bubble by reading the ingredients!

the chip aisle is getting stocked so we weave through looking at the 297 different packets unable to find the one we want...

after going up & down it 3 times i give a very good description of what i'm looking for to one the guys filling the shelves & ask for his help...

his response is.... 'ma'am i just work for fritolay' in other words... i'm here to put these bags of 'fritolay' chips on the shelf, i know nothing about anything else & i have absolutely no desire to help you in any way shape or form if it means i have to physically take any extra steps or speak any extra words. the fact that wegmans is your favorite grocery store concerns me not... please do not bother me.

craziness...